The first day off matters most: how founders can stop a duvet day becoming a month off sick
Have you ever felt like you just can’t get out from under the duvet? Even when you’re running a small business, there may be times when, as much as you love what you do, you feel like your body is telling you to snuggle up, pull the duvet over your head and pretend that everything that has been on your mind has gone away.
That experience is not unusual and is commonly called a ‘duvet day’.
Last week Startups Magazine reported that work-related stress, depression and anxiety cost the UK 22.1 million working days. So what can a founder actually do on the morning someone calls in?
Why a duvet day isn’t a choice
For many employees, a duvet day is not a conscious choice they can simply overcome. It can be the nervous system’s response to sustained, high stress.
Most people do not realise how much pressure they are under because they have come to see it as normal. The body continues to ‘run hot’ while the brain insists that everything is normal and fine.
In a fast-growing company with highly enthusiastic employees, it is very easy for the signs that somebody is heading towards a duvet day to be missed by everybody, including the employee themselves.
When one of our employees disengages, takes a duvet day or just seems to lose focus or engagement, it could be less to do with their motivation and more to do with their nervous system.
What happens when stress has no off switch
When the early signs of stress are missed, the nervous system becomes more and more aroused. This hyperarousal can actually be very beneficial in business. It can be what catapults us to achieve things over and above expectations, and it can leave us at the end of the day feeling satisfied and fulfilled. Provided, that is, we are able to come out of it.
For hyperarousal to be positive, it must also be a dynamic state. We need periods in which we use all that energy to achieve our targets and deadlines, and then times when we’re able to reflect, think, process and plan. If our bodies run hot from morning till night to keep all the plates spinning, without regular respite, the nervous system will burn out.
Imagine driving a car that is overheating. What would you do? Would you keep going and expect it to cool off eventually, or would you stop the car and allow it to cool off? The answer seems obvious. Sadly, we rarely apply the same logic to our own bodies!
When high energy at work becomes continual, without breaks, people lose the joy of work. The arousal system is budgeting their energy for survival only, because that’s how brains and bodies are built.
The longer we remain in this state, the more our brains narrow their attention. This reduces our ability to solve problems, make good decisions and be creative, and ultimately even reduces our capacity to cooperate. In a small, growing business, employees who can’t make good decisions or cooperate with each other or with your customers are more than a health risk to themselves. They are also an existential risk to your business.
Ongoing hyperarousal is not sustainable. Running hot like an overheating engine eventually gives way to hypoarousal, where the brain closes down and the employee cannot get out from under the duvet.
It is more than exhaustion: it can feel helpless and, if it is not addressed early, it can lead to experiences of hopelessness. When you add the stresses people have in their home lives too, it can become a hellish concoction. The brain tells the body: just stop everything and hide.
You set the culture by what you measure
The always-on culture described by Ben Gateley, CEO and Founder of CharlieHR, is a recipe for hyperarousal becoming converted into hypoarousal. We often say, ‘People are not machines’, but machines get maintenance and downtime. If we treated people more like that, we would create far more positive and productive workplaces.
Founders may well set the tone for their teams, as Gateley says, but what matters more is the cultural imperative the founder sets, usually unconsciously. It is not related to your emotional intelligence as a leader, but to what you measure, prioritise and choose. This determines the lived experience of employees, regardless of the stated aspirations and objectives of the business.
Consider what it is you are actually measuring. When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure. Choose your objectives and metrics wisely, because outcomes matter more than ‘numbers’ alone.
To drive success, you need to recognise that what really underpins performance is engagement. If people are engaged and involved, it will reduce their stress levels and increase their cooperation.
What to do on day one
You need to be thinking ‘proactively and preventatively’. Watch for:
- someone who has stopped enjoying work they used to love
- poorer decisions from a person who is usually sharp
- less willingness to cooperate with colleagues or customers
The Health and Safety Executive expects proactive and preventative action on workplace stress, and it is now taking enforcement action where employers fall short. That duty of care applies to a business of 10 people as much as one of 10,000.
However, if one of your employees has a duvet day, this is the time for a conversation. On day one. Make it your absence policy that you will contact people on day one, and then call them, not text or email.You don’t need to be an HR expert to make a friendly call. You can simply ask them: “Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed? If so, what can I do to help?”
Many managers and leaders worry that this may open a can of worms that they cannot deal with, and so find themselves avoiding asking. It’s important to remember that your responsibility is to stress caused by work, even though you need to be sensitive and compassionate to stress caused outside work. If it’s work that is causing stress, you are well equipped to make any changes, but if the answer to the question is outside your scope then do not attempt to tackle it yourself; refer them to the right professional with your full support.
This is the principle behind First Day Matters, the session I developed to help employees re-engage before a short absence becomes a long one. Our professional psychologists are able to support and refer employees directly.That call can prevent a duvet day from becoming a duvet week, stress month, and burnout year. And you will become an even better leader.
