That diagnosis gave me clarity. Suddenly, the years of struggle made sense. The burnout, the overthinking, the way I had to structure my days just to stay afloat, it all had context.

Now, like so many neurodivergent people, I learned to adapt. I learned that I preferred working from home, powering through during my hyperfocus time, working nights when I have bursts of energy. 

But another common thread among neurodivergent people is hiding our struggles to appear “normal” in neurotypical spaces. This is called masking and, in professional environments, it’s everywhere. In fact, in a survey of UK neurodivergent employees, 63% reported masking at work.

Today, we’re going to explore this. The hidden pressure to mask in the workplace. What it costs and what needs to change so that people like me, and maybe people like you, can succeed without hiding who we are.

What masking looks like at work

Masking means constantly adjusting to fit in. For many neurodivergent individuals, it’s about hiding parts of themselves and copying others to avoid standing out. 

Here are some common ways masking shows up in professional settings:

• Being over-preparing for meetings or conversations
• Rehearsing what to say beforehand
• Forcing eye contact even when it feels uncomfortable
• Suppressing natural body language or movements
• Mimicking colleagues’ tone, vocabulary, or mannerisms
• Avoiding topics or questions that might expose struggles
• Hiding signs of overwhelm, like needing breaks or fidgeting
• Editing speech to sound more “professional” or less emotional
• Pushing through exhaustion without asking for help

The cost of masking

While masking may help you blend in,  it comes at a high price.

1. Constant exhaustion

Masking takes energy and a lot of it. While your neurotypical colleagues are just focussed on getting their work done, you’re monitoring your tone, your facial expressions, your body language, every second of the day. That mental load builds up fast. It leads to burnout, even when the workload itself isn’t the problem.

2. Loss of confidence

When you’re always trying to be someone else, it’s easy to start believing your real self isn’t good enough. You question your instincts. You doubt your ideas. You stop speaking up, not because you don’t know what to say, but because you’re afraid it won’t come out the “right” way. Neurodivergent people tend to be more prone to suffer from self-esteem struggles and masking only reinforces the feeling that who you are isn’t quite acceptable as-is.

3. Disconnection from self

Over time, masking blurs the line between who you are and who you think you need to be. You lose touch with what works for you, how you best process information, how you naturally communicate. It’s not just tiring, it’s disorienting.

4. Invisibility of struggle

From the outside, everything looks fine. You’re seen as high-functioning, capable, even thriving. But no one sees the mental gymnastics behind it. That invisibility makes it even harder to ask for support, and easier for others to dismiss what you’re going through.

5. Stigma in disguise

The reality is, many neurodivergent people are constantly battling disbelief. ADHD, in particular, is often downplayed or misunderstood. People assume it’s just about being a bit scatterbrained or hyper. But it's so much more complex. 

Stigma doesn’t always look like outright rejection. Sometimes it’s a smile and a shrug. A dismissive joke. A quick “we all have something.” And those micro-dismissals add up. They make you second-guess your experience and hesitate before disclosing again.

What needs to change

If we want neurodivergent people to thrive at work, we need to stop rewarding performance and start valuing authenticity. That begins with changing how we define professionalism. Because right now, it often means to be calm, polished, and consistent, even if that’s not how your brain works.

Workplaces need to open the door to different ways of thinking, communicating, and processing. They need to be more flexible. Not just in where people work, but in how they work too. 

On top of this we need education. Real, practical neurodiversity awareness for teams and leaders. This doesn’t just mean the broad inclusion workshops most offices have to do, but specific training that helps people understand the signs of masking, the impact it has, and how to support colleagues without judgment.

Right now, we’re not quite there. Just 60% of employees say that neuroinclusion is even a focus for their organisation and only 53% say they work in an environment where people feel safe talking about neurodiversity. That’s not enough. 

We need leadership that sets the tone. Leaders who are willing to say: “You don’t have to wear a mask to belong here.” Psychological safety starts at the top.

Final thoughts

I still remember one week, early in my business journey, when I was trying to work the way everyone else did. I pushed myself to sit through long meetings, match the pace and tone of others, follow rigid schedules, and suppress my natural workflow. I thought that’s what being a “professional” looked like.

By Friday afternoon, I crashed. I was empty. I hadn’t said how overwhelmed I was. I hadn’t asked for help. That was the cost and I know I’m not the only one who’s paid it.

If you’re neurodivergent and you see yourself in this, please know that you’re not broken. You’re not difficult. You’ve just been working twice as hard to survive in systems that weren’t built with you in mind. You deserve better than survival. You deserve to work in a way that supports your brain, not fights it.

And if you’re a leader, a manager, or someone with influence know that your choices shape culture. You have the power to create environments where people don’t have to choose between being accepted and being authentic. Where difference isn’t masked, it’s respected, supported, and even celebrated.

Because when we stop asking people to hide, we give them room to shine.

Part three of a six-part series.

Click here to read parts one and two.