Just as digital technologies and social media platforms bring with them real advantages, they have sadly given rise to multiple new forms of harassment through being misused.

Sadly, it’s not uncommon for startup owners to receive negativity online. Most of us have dealt with a bad review or passive-aggressive customer complaint, but can you imagine being relentlessly harassed online in every part of your life without having any knowledge of who is behind it, or what the motive for their vicious attack is? And how that might change you as a business owner and a person.

It can be a terrifying experience, leaving you feeling powerless with potentially long-lasting negative impacts. And it can just start one day, completely out of the blue. Mine started without warning. First, my clients were targeted and messaged to "warn" them that I was a bully and not to be trusted, putting everything I built as a trusted interior designer at risk. Then my business contact information was used: I was signed up for endless mailing lists going through 100s of emails, 20+ disturbing texts and prank phone calls a day to my business. Taking time away from growing my business as I sifted through more and more harassment. They would sign me up for appointments I didn’t need (nor knew about) and even contacted other local businesses and orders would be placed in Amanda's name that I never needed, causing everyone confusion and inconvenience.

After a long nine-month ordeal, I was finally granted a restraining order from the court and the harassment stopped. As someone who before this was perceived as confident, even bold, and authentically outspoken, it feels time for me to speak up.

It was one of the most difficult times in my life, but here’s the business lessons it taught me:

Don’t rely on other support

All of my harassment took place during Covid when everyone else was also feeling isolated, and when they were all going through emotional challenges themselves. The timing to find support from other people was probably not the best.

My family became so tired of hearing the same thing over and over and did not know how to help, nobody did! Going through this was another wake-up call to concentrate my energy on a self-help focus, to be a bit more independent, and to rely less on others. This shift helped me rely on myself to start a new branding business for myself.

I was able to see how resilient I could be – and it made me a better business owner

Through the experience of being a victim of this traumatic harassment and then the court case, I learned a great deal about the court system and mental health, as you can probably imagine. I better understood that self-care is not about being selfish but rather essential to finding more power within.

I can see how, out of this experience, I am now a better business owner. I am way more empathetic to clients who may be experiencing a difficult time or season in their life. I have learned the tools to take feedback and choices less personally, to really listen, and to be more compassionate when dealing with clients and prospective customers.

I absolutely realised that I can handle even the worst of life’s circumstances, and now, instead of trying to be everything to everyone and give-give-give; I stop trying to please every single follower and instead focus on what drives me as a business owner.

I can survive, but also thrive

I think my drive to not be defeated comes from my pro-athlete background, and it’s something all of us need if we want to grow a business in this landscape. I could not accept defeat. So instead, I motivated myself to keep going and keep moving which helped shape me to be more proactive and organised. These are two things I am usually not. I had to change my approach to business because my interior design business was customer facing, but I couldn’t use social media to promote myself and put my brand out there, because I knew someone else was watching. My business grew to a business-to-business model instead, evolving into helping other interior designers with their branding.

I started building by networking with peers in private Facebook groups and online. It grew quite organically as other interior designers kept asking me for advice, and I offered feedback and my expertise, losing myself (and the outside stress) in the focus on my peers and in offering them my help.

Vulnerability and authenticity are key to our betterment and success

This experience broke me in more ways than one, but I saw my growing resilience to overcome it. I can have a bad experience. I can talk about something uncomfortable. Because I had proved to myself that I can be my own support system. I am more independent and confident and less worried about what other people think. Relief! And, I've learned to not hide my emotions but rather try to embrace them.

So now, when my peers and clients disclose their challenges with emotional experiences, we discuss how we can showcase that vulnerability, and tie it into their brand DNA as a core strength.

I tell my clients all the time to be honest and more authentic, encouraging them to share more of themselves. I do, to some extent, but I also didn't out of safety. I was trying to be more careful, and in many ways was hiding, but no more. It’s time to fling the door wide open and be a bit bold and public with who I am again!