Networking events are supposed to be about making connections, but too often, they feel transactional, forced, and, frankly, a waste of time. Why? Well, in this article I will explore why I feel it’s time we give networking a makeover and look to more fruitful strategies to build connections in business.

The sticking points preventing meaningful interactions

People are out for what they can get, not what they can give.

Too many attendees treat networking like a numbers game – how many contacts can they collect, how many deals can they close? It’s surface-level and uninspiring.

Shallow conversations dominate.

What do you do?” “Where are you based?” “Let me tell you about my business.” These empty exchanges are forgotten as soon as they happen.

You’ll likely never see most of these people again.

Connections without depth don’t last. Most interactions at networking events fizzle out as quickly as they start.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. But here’s the thing – networking should never feel like networking. It should feel like building real human relationships. The people who truly succeed in business (and in life) don’t just network – they connect.

The shift: from networking to deep human connection

If you want to connect like a pro, you need to throw out the traditional networking playbook and focus on something far more valuable – authentic relationships. Start with leading with curiosity rather than an agenda. Don’t expect anything in return from your interaction, just treat it like any other typical conversation, that way you take the pressure off and don’t come across as desperate.

The best relationships in business are built on generosity, not self-interest. Instead of looking for what you can take, focus on what you can give. Introduce people to someone with valuable in your circle. Share insights, resources, or experiences that might help. Be the person who adds value before ever asking for anything in return.

This is how you create lasting connections – not just transactional encounters.

Find common ground beyond business

People don’t bond over job titles; they bond over shared experiences, values, and interests. Centre conversations around life, not just what you do at work. The best relationships I find often develop from non-business topics. People are much more likely to take an interest if you discuss your hobbies, passions, family, travel, and challenges. Don’t forget that you’re a human talking to humans. Open up and don’t shy away from vulnerability as that’s what breeds trust. Be receptive and engaging, even if the interaction doesn’t result in a win or your business, it will still be a win for your personal growth. You know when you have formed a true connection when someone walks away from a conversation feeling valued and eager to reach back out.

Follow up like a friend, not a salesperson

The fortune is in the follow-up – but not in the way most people think. Don’t just send a generic LinkedIn request or a canned email. Instead, reference something specific from your conversation. Keep in touch without a sales angle. Reach out just to check in, share something relevant, or continue the conversation naturally. Treat relationships as long-term investments, not quick wins.

The payoff: real relationships that actually matter

When you stop “networking” and start connecting, everything changes:

• You build relationships that last years, not minutes
• You surround yourself with people who genuinely support your success
• You create opportunities that come because of who you are, not just what you do

The most successful founders, leaders, and entrepreneurs know this secret: your network isn’t about the number of people you know. It’s about the depth of the relationships you build.

So, the next time you step into a room full of strangers, don’t just network. Connect.

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