How to be an emotionally intelligent leader

Emotional health coach and speaker Vanessa Louise Moore uses her own life experiences to shape her approach and helps people from all backgrounds to love themselves.

Here, Vanessa shares her tips about how to be an emotionally intelligent leader.

At the heart of every business is a dynamic which is crafted around mutual respect, honesty, and understanding. Without the ability to communicate, a business will struggle to find its footing. Over the last few years, employees have been demanding more empathy in the workplace. According to a survey of nearly 3,000 workers by MetLife (1), 42% of employees don’t feel cared for at work. As a result of this, wellbeing, happiness, and overall satisfaction at work goes down as individuals feel neglected. The same report found that these employees are also less likely to feel engaged (45%), productive (58%), and loyal (54%). A tailored approach and a step away from the one-size-fits-all method can be beneficial to any company.

Furthermore, AXA’s annual Mind Health Study (2) has found that the stigma around mental health in the UK has changed, with individuals more open to expressing how they feel. According to the study, those who are supported at work are 1.6 times more likely to be happy and almost twice as likely to be ‘flourishing’. This comes hand in hand with changes that have arisen from the pandemic, including an “increased empathy at work [which] has improved employee wellbeing”.

Understanding personal strengths and weaknesses

Before any individual considers taking on a leadership role, they must know who they are on a deeper level. This can include looking at their motivations, learning, and communication styles, but also reflecting on how they react to the world around them. Being self-aware and understanding their strengths and weaknesses will enable them to be their best self in the workplace. It also puts a leader in the best position to propel their employees toward success. In a larger company, it may be possible to collaborate or interchange leaders to work to each individual’s strengths and weaknesses.

Helping employees grow

Leaders should seek to lift their employees up and hold a space for them to learn, grow and develop both in the workplace and as a person. This can take the form of showing compassion and empathy. Also listening with your ears and your heart to what your employees are saying and not saying. Being in tune with your employees will enable you to hear people differently and read between the lines. This may enable the workplace to curb burnout and enhance emotional fitness.

According to a study by O.C.Tanner (3) 41% of employees believe that their leaders’ empathy is only surface level, having been described as “empty and meaningless”. “Traditional models of empathy don’t meet employee needs in either an actionable or sustainable way,” the report reads. “Both leaders and employees are frequently left frustrated by empathy initiatives that are perceived, at best, as ‘warm and fuzzy’ programs with little usefulness.”

By prioritising the individual’s needs, challenges, and potential, a leader can best support their staff. Meanwhile, taking the time to understand the day-to-day employee experience can help shape policies. This comes hand in hand with embracing other perspectives and listening to what they have to say. It is only then that a leader can take supportive action. However, an emotionally intelligent leader will know their boundaries and when a support system needs to be initiated.

Changing the narrative

Too often the mentality of leaders is, ‘What’s in it for me?’, yet it is most effective when it is ‘How may I serve?’. The narrative you form for yourself shapes how others perceive you. Leading by example is essential if you want employees to reflect the standards of the company. It can also help to create a culture of open communication and collaboration.

Leadership styles may also dictate your take on the work environment. For instance, an individual with a deflated ego may be a good leader, but often these types of individuals do not lead from the front – instead walking with the employees and working together like birds in a flock. These individuals show trustworthy qualities and use their emotional intelligence to show their vulnerable sides. Meanwhile, a coercive leader is in danger of bulldozing decisions through and should consider stepping back and reflecting on how it will impact others before making rash choices.

Effective communication

Effective communication without judgement will form hardy bridges both internally and with clients. Promoting an encouraging, listening, and inviting atmosphere and ensuring employees are comfortable and able to develop. Equally, leaning on experience to provide real-life examples and toning down responses to suggestions will both give the leader credibility and the employee a sense of independence.

Slight changes in the language used, such as shifting from ‘right or wrong’ to ‘a better way to do this might be’ can help employees grow and learn without being disheartened. This can also promote a reflection on consequences.

Furthermore, it is important that a leader can manage high-stress situations and break scenarios down from complex scenarios to simple elements.

Overall, an emotionally intelligent leader will both be in tune with themselves and able to read between the lines when speaking to and engaging with those around them. An ideal workplace dynamic will create a thriving emotional environment.

 

1. https://www.octanner.com/en-gb/white-papers/5-culture-trends-2024?utm_source=google&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=eur.2024.5-culture-trends&utm_campaign=21328526079&utm_ad_group=163281530855&utm_keyword=workplace%20culture&utm_creative=700777941792&utm_matchtype=p&utm_network=g&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw0aS3BhA3EiwAKaD2ZVX7Bg4o0-k5YMdd_S8EoEYkL4xg7OWMTCmdAk2BhCcmX1RcGFi3NRoCQPYQAvD_BwE&aliId=eyJpIjoiNStvMDlSWEZkbFhIYXhpYyIsInQiOiI3WG42WUFDd0VNUlFQcVJ3ZzZIQTVBPT0ifQ%253D%253D

2. https://www.cgi.org.uk/blog/workplace-wellbeing

3. https://www.octanner.com/en-gb/global-culture-report/2024-practical-empathy