5 Expert Top Tips to Creating a More Successful Life on Your Terms
Having climbed the corporate ladder for 18 years within organisations such as; Adobe and Virgin Media O2… Tara Rule, celebrates stepping away from her corporate career, to embrace full time self employment, driven by her love of positive psychology and human behaviour as she now shares her knowledge, and own personal experiences as part of her mission to show other startups, business leaders and professionals… how she reached Senior Director of Global Business Operations at Adobe, whilst bringing up a family, pursuing her own hobbies and interests, training in positive psychology and setting up her business - all with a smile on her face.
Tara, known as The Busy2Balanced Positive Psychology Coach, is driven to now share the positive psychology tools she has learnt for her own personal development with others, she hopes to help more people to find the balance she has achieved by ‘writing her own rule book’.
Tara is working to create a ripple effect of positivity in the business world, after she navigated her success with happiness, rather than stress after learning to play to her strengths and tackle her imposter syndrome head on. Having continually climbed the career ladder from starting work at 18, through two maternity leaves, and also alongside starting her business, Tara has battled her own mindset demons which told her she ‘wasn’t good enough’, to instead tap into the tools of positive psychology to build up her confidence in herself. She has learnt how to change her mindset to positive self-talk rather than negative and has become a master of setting boundaries, leaning into gratitude and spending as much time as possible doing what she loves.
She said: “I love helping people unlock their full potential. And confidence is a key ingredient… Everyone used to think that I was so confident, but inside I just felt lucky, guilty about what I’d achieved and was just waiting to get found out, so despite my success I wasn’t reaching my full potential. I’ve discovered that by really working on your inner confidence you can achieve anything you want.”
Recognise when your inner critic is talking and blocking your success
Often the biggest blocker for success is ourselves. Take time to listen to your own thoughts. Are you self sabotaging by listening to your inner critic who’s saying you’re not good enough, this is impossible, you have to be perfect. Being able to recognise this is the first step in stopping the pattern of negative behaviour and fear that’s keeping you stuck.
Put self-doubt behind you and listen to your inner cheerleader
When we are fearful or uneasy we stop taking risks, and we stop pushing for change - we stop believing we are worthy of what we want. Rather than focusing on the negatives and feeling out of control, chose to listen to your inner cheerleader instead and focus on your strengths and skills so you can regain control. Find ways to remind yourself of your achievements, undertake tasks that you know you’ll excel in, then capture that feeling of success to feel empowered to move forward.
Get excited about your future
Work daily to really connect with your vision of what success looks like for you and visualise it coming to fruition. Some people like to journal, some like to create vision boards, whatever you do find a way to get excited about what success looks like to you, whether that’s more money, more time with family, more success or all three.
Get clear on your boundaries and make them non negotiable
Stress often comes from feelings of losing control and overwhelm and feeling like everything is never ending. When we don’t have strong boundaries in place this all comes too easily. Get super clear on what‘s important to you and make them non-negotiables! It could be not working late or at the weekends, ensuring you exercise during the day, doing the school run. Each of us are different so get clear on what’s important to you and make sure you stick to them.
Prioritise your mental health, every single day
There are many ways to do adopt better self care, from small things like making sure you get a few minutes of peace everyday to do something you enjoy, to listening to uplifting music, to switching off the news or removing social media apps. A big game changer for me was connecting to gratitude - it started in lockdown, home schooling a 6 and 9 year old while my husband and I both worked full time, we started saying what we we’re grateful for at dinner each evening - finding just one thing helped us feel uplifted, and positive. This directs my behaviour, my internal dialogue, all of it, often enabling me to quickly reframe any negative thoughts into positive ones.