Conversations have the potential to unlock new possibilities, spark creativity, and lead us down paths we never imagined. Let’s explore how initiating meaningful conversations can be a powerful tool for change, both personally and professionally.

Conversations have always fascinated me: with friends and family, colleagues and co-workers, and even strangers on the street. One of the key turning points in my career happened because I mustered the courage to have a conversation with someone who could help me take my next big step – a secondment at the Cabinet Office.

At the time, I was working as an occupational psychologist for the Department of Work and Pensions in Sheffield. I had set myself the goal of becoming a chartered organisational psychologist to gain credibility, balancing the perception that I’d “run away with the circus” – a nod to the four years I spent busking on the streets of Spain after graduating in psychology from the University of Nottingham. After three years of hard work designing fair and open recruitment systems for civil servants, I decided it was time for a new adventure. I wanted to move south, not only to progress my own career but also to support my husband, a tango and jazz singer. London was calling.

Every few months, I would catch the early morning train from Sheffield and head to the Cabinet Office just off Trafalgar Square. I was a regular at the quarterly meetings of a cross-government recruitment network. At one of these gatherings, I discovered that the Cabinet Office wanted to implement a radical redesign of its Fast Stream graduate recruitment programme – one of the longest-standing selection systems in the world and a legend among organisational psychologists.

I carefully plotted my next move. I identified the person I needed to talk to, what I wanted to ask, and when to make my approach. I had learned from the Santa Fe scientists about the importance of interactions and how they are particularly sensitive to “initial conditions.” A tiny change in behaviour early on can, over time, lead to dramatically different outcomes.

At the end of the next meeting, I waited as the head of the Fast Stream programme, Michael, said his goodbyes. My heart was pounding, and my mouth was so dry it hurt to swallow. As he started to gather his papers, I approached him and took a deep breath, determined to be bold.

“Michael,” I said, “Have you got a couple of minutes to talk?” “Sure,” he replied.

I gulped, my nerves obvious. “The changes you want to make to the Fast Stream selection process sound very exciting. What are your timescales?”

“We’ve got about a year to finish,” he replied. “We’ve just recruited a Principal Psychologist who joins us next month so we can get started.”

“It sounds like there’s a lot of work to do,” I continued. “I wonder if you need any more psychologist resources? We have a new scheme in my department to set up secondments. I’d love to come and work at the Cabinet Office for a few months. Would you be interested in discussing this further?”

I may never have succeeded in summoning the courage for that conversation with Michael if I hadn’t sensed that our interaction might catapult me into a completely new future. By then, I had also read the seminal text by Bill Isaacs, ‘Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together’. Isaacs’ work, which builds on the ideas of quantum physicist David Bohm, emphasises the concept of ‘unfolding’ in dialogue – how our conversations can act as apertures through which new possibilities emerge.

Inspired by these ideas, I began to see every conversation as an opportunity for new life to unfold. I started paying more attention to how I engaged with others, realising that one conversation could open or shut the door to an entirely new future – for me and those around me.

Returning to my story with Michael, our conversation led to further discussions, and a few months later, my husband and I were happily re-creating our lives in London. That short talk had shifted the trajectory of my life, demonstrating the profound impact a single conversation can have. I went on to set up my own consulting company, Bridgework, in 2007 and foundational to its survival and success, has been having meaningful conversations along the way.

So, I challenge you to think about the conversations you're avoiding. What fresh adventure might you open up by taking the risk to talk with someone? Whether it’s negotiating for a new role, seeking a mentor, or simply sharing your ideas, that one conversation could be the opening you need for a whole new chapter in your life.