How to make running a startup with your spouse work
Starting a business from scratch brings a unique set of pressures - both professionally and personally.
But setting up a company with your spouse is another matter altogether…especially if things go wrong.
Get the dynamic right, though, and it’s an amazing experience. My wife Shilpa and I set up our business, a holiday home rental management company, five years ago and running it as a husband-and-wife partnership has been a major factor in its growth.
Her weaknesses are my strengths and my weaknesses are her strengths. Where I fall short, she steps in, and vice versa. Without having each other to fall back on, our business would not have grown at the rate it has.
It has even done wonders for our personal lives. When you see your partner support you in a professional environment, stepping in to do the things you’re not capable of doing, it reinforces your love and respect for one another and helps you navigate the stressful times.
The question is, what are the key factors to make running a startup with your spouse work?
I’m not going to pretend Shilpa and I haven’t encountered any problems, especially at the beginning. There was a power struggle at the start because we had different expectations of how the company would grow. Shilpa didn’t see us scaling as fast as we did, and was understandably concerned about taking on the extra costs associated with attempting to facilitate this growth. Thankfully, those concerns eased once we began to see the returns.
Meanwhile, having clearly defined roles has helped. With my background in hospitality, I ended up becoming CEO, overlooking the whole business, while Shilpa is the COO: the firefighter on the ground. Whichever department has an issue, she will take care of it, and she also overlooks key accounts and customer relationships - fundamental to how the business operates.
However, my key piece of advice to other couples who launch a business together is to embrace - not just accept - the fact it is guaranteed to intrude into your personal lives.
Most couples don’t work together and therefore have the luxury of keeping their professional and personal lives separate. But that’s not viable when you’re leading a company together. Any spousal entrepreneurs who create a pact to leave the office in the office and home at home will quickly see it won’t work. Shilpa and I know because we tried and failed ourselves!
We learned that as husband-and-wife entrepreneurs running a company, a problem will inevitably come up at 8pm and it can’t wait. This will invariably happen when you have a personal commitment such as a family dinner. Ignoring it is not possible, so you have to learn to blend your personal and professional lives. That means in the car on the way to dinner, you talk business: “How are we going to deal with this problem?”
It means you have to be a unique couple. If the other spouse cuts off that conversation, it’s only going to lead to frustration - and ultimately hold back the business. It’s about getting the right balance on when to stop talking about business and when to carry on talking about business.
The crazy thing is, after initially trying to build that boundary between home and work, Shilpa and I actually now enjoy talking about business in our personal time. It’s part of our nightly catch-up and communications. And vice versa when we’re in the office together: we’re more likely to talk about our social engagements that night.
I know, 100%, that working as a couple has driven our success. But, more importantly, supporting each other in the business has had a profoundly positive impact on our personal relationship. We know, even more than we did before, we’re there for each other.