“Are you Steven’s new secretary?”

“No, I’m the subsea umbilical package manager.”

“How do you dress girly but still have people take you seriously?”

“Are you old enough to be a project manager?”

“I’m 37.”

I have worked in the energy sector since 2005, and it has certainly been eye-opening. I graduated with a master’s degree in electronic and electrical engineering, and became a chartered engineer in 2012.

I have worked offshore, onshore, and onsite in male-dominated environments throughout my career, and while I wish I could say it is improving, it sadly still has a long way to go. But there are pockets of opportunity for success. These lie in networking, advocacy, and sponsorship.

In my first graduate role I wrote a paper on condition monitoring of offshore rotating machinery, and how failures can be predicted long before they occur. It was published in several countries and media outlets, and for a 21-year-old, I was thrilled. My supervisor, however, was less than supportive, and took the opportunity to discredit my paper saying, “you don’t actually say anything in it.” I smiled and walked away.

In my next role a few years later, my supervisor openly said women belong at home and in the kitchen. When I spoke up about poor behaviours, my contract was terminated citing “It’s just not working out.”

I have many more stories like this – some with blatant disrespect, and others with much more subtle microaggressions. For years my coping mechanism was to speak with friends and trusted colleagues for advice, but rarely with my peers. It wasn’t until a decade later that I shared my experiences with other women in STEM – and it turns out our experiences were not dissimilar. It changed my perspective – it wasn’t me that was the problem. I started speaking with more women, inside and outside my industry, and also men who recognised the issues. Networking was, and still is, something I find very uncomfortable, but the benefits really do outweigh my anxieties towards it. My top tip – get there early when there are fewer people, it is much easier to find someone to talk to before the room gets too busy!

It wasn’t all bad though – every now and then I would meet someone who was instrumental in accelerating my career. I once started a new role where my manager took a chance on me. He gave me an opportunity to go to a site to witness qualification testing of a power cable. After I reported my observations, I was tasked to go again for the next manufacturing process. I saw everything through to final testing, spooling to the offshore vessel, and I went offshore for installation as the night shift representative. This was only possible because my manager saw my potential and advocated for me to get the opportunities.

A few roles and companies later, I had a similar experience with another manager – he told me “You need to be broadened” and put me in a role that I didn’t know how to do. Looking back, it was one of the most rewarding roles of my career where I had to figure things out, align stakeholders, build my own team, manage three big contractors, and continually iterate and improve. The best part? I had space to create, but the support and help when I needed it.

How did this happen? Well, working in a big corporate organisation meant it is rarely one person who makes decisions on role moves. I had two men advocating for me to get that role – one whom I had previously contacted for sharing activities on my project asking for advice, and one who saw I needed to be stretched – he acted like my sponsor. I had built good relationships with both as we interacted regularly – they knew my capabilities and aspirations. Before the role was advertised, one of them spoke with me about it and advised me to apply when it was posted. After the application process it went through many approvals and discussions – this is where my advocate and sponsor spoke for me as I wasn’t in the room. Ultimately, I was successful in getting the role. I cannot stress enough how important it is to build effective relationships at work. Many people will be in positions to advocate for or sponsor you, especially when you are not in the room, and you want what they say to align with what you want.

It is crucial that women in STEM have opportunities to succeed in their careers, otherwise innovation will be slower and profits will be reduced – many studies have shown this to be true. While some organisations are better than others at identifying and addressing disrespectful behaviours and improving workplace cultures, often it is down to individuals who can make a difference. Encourage your employees to network, and advocate and sponsor others for opportunities. And equally, never be afraid to take action yourself – making new contacts and sharing your experiences, and cultivating effective workplace relationships with peers, subordinates, and senior leaders. These ongoing efforts will shape positive workplace cultures for generations of women in STEM to come.